The demands of caring for aging parents can feel overwhelming and tedious, especially when you have a full-time job. As adults, we all struggle with finding the right balance between our work and personal lives. However, for those with aging parents, the challenges can feel almost insurmountable at times. Balancing the demands of a career, taking care of your own family, and caring for a parent who needs your help is no easy task. That being said, it’s also one of the most important things you can do for your parents as they age. By focusing on these Seven Tips, you can work towards finding the balance you need to be there for your parents and still take care of yourself and your work responsibilities.
As we age, we all experience physical and mental changes that sometimes require the assistance of others to help us maintain our independence. For aging parents, this sometimes means that their children or closest family members become their primary caregivers. However, as aging parents often require provision of long-term care, this can become overwhelming for caregivers who also have work responsibilities.
It’s normal to feel like you’re being stretched too thin, but it’s important to find a balance between work and caregiving. In this blog post, we’ll cover seven practical steps you can implement to help balance work and caregiving. Let’s get started reviewing the seven tips and strategies.
1. Plan Ahead. For everything. Doctor’s appointments, running needed errands. grocery shopping, in-person check-ins by you or an appointed family member, friend, or neighbor. Keeping work and caregiving as separate as possible. Setting realistic expectations of what you can and cannot do are key to preventing burnout. Accepting help when needed and letting go of the expectation of doing everything yourself can help reduce your stress and increase your productivity.
Create a list of the tasks that need your immediate attention and those that can wait. This will help you focus on the necessary tasks and avoid feeling overloaded.
Assess the needs of your aging parents: The first step in balancing work and caregiving is by assessing the specific needs of your aging parents. This means understanding the level of assistance they need, how long it takes, when and how frequently it is required. By understanding your parents’ needs, you can decide on a plan to manage those needs without affecting your work schedule.
Juggling work and caregiving can be stressful, which is why it becomes essential to the creation of a schedule that allows for flexibility. Plan your schedule around your caregiver’s needs, so you can be there when they require assistance. It also helps to plan your days off work around appointments and essential caregiving functions. If you need to attend a doctor’s appointment with your aging parent, make that appointment according to your schedule at work. When it is most convenient for you. If other arrangements can be made for transportation, another alternative would be to call during the doctor’s appointment and ask the doctor permission to be on speaker phone so you can get firsthand information without having to be there.
Practice self-care: Caregiving responsibilities can cause immense stress, leading to emotional and physical burnout. It is crucial to practice self-care, such as engaging in physical exercise, taking breaks, visiting friends, or even meditating, to help recharge your emotional batteries and prevent burnout. It’s easy to let your own needs fall to the wayside when taking care of others. However, it’s essential to prioritize your personal care, such as eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.
Maintaining meaningful connections with family, friends, and colleagues is important for overall well-being. Taking breaks from caregiving responsibilities to socializing with others can help reduce stress and improve your mood.
Establish clear boundaries: Set boundaries around your work and caregiving tasks. Define when or how much time you’re willing to give to each responsibility. Communicate these boundaries with your family and coworkers to ensure everyone understands your availability. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when you’re juggling work and caregiving. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them is key to protecting your time and mental health. Learn to say no to obligations or requests that aren’t essential and carve out designated time for yourself each week. Make time for things you enjoy doing and take care of yourself both physically and mentally.
Finally, don’t forget to make time for meaningful moments with your aging parent. It can be difficult to balance caregiving responsibilities with other obligations, but taking the time to create memories that will last a lifetime should be a priority. Schedule regular outings or activities that you and your parents can enjoy together and cherish the time you have with them.
2. Schedule Regular Check-in Calls. Same time every day. Schedule 2 if needed and share the responsibility with others. This will help unexpected phone calls that might interrupt your workday. This is an area that even out of town siblings can assist with. Being proactive and calling before they call you can help you have better control of the situation and avoid interruptions at work.
3. Create a family/friend/neighbor calendar to track doctor appointments, etc. This will help you stay organized and know who is responsible for what at any given moment.
Delegating tasks doesn’t mean you’re avoiding your responsibilities. It means finding a support system that can help with caregiving tasks. This could include hiring professional help, reaching out to family members, or seeking community resources.
Get Help from Siblings, Other Family Members, or Friends. Consider the Share the Care model for assembling a volunteer care team. Ask if your nurse advocate can help put this plan in place and help put together the team.
Caring for an aging parent should not be a one-person job. Reach out to siblings or other family members to see if they can help with caregiving responsibilities. Even if you have out of town siblings each one of you has a zone of genius and are able to help in the caregiving process. You nurse advocate can help with setting up conversations with your family to look at ways each sibling can help. Even asking friends to run errands or spend time with your parents can provide much-needed relief. Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks and accept help when it’s offered.
4. Managing Emergencies: Make sure your aging loved one has a life alert or similar, to get help fast in case of an emergency. As the primary caregiver for your aging parent, you need to be prepared for emergencies. Plan ahead by creating a list of emergency contacts, including healthcare providers, family members, and friends. Make sure legal documents, like power of attorney and healthcare proxies, are in order. Having a plan in place will help you feel more in control and better equipped to deal with unexpected situations. We suggest a “go folder.” With our clients we have a folder prepared with copies of all the emergency documents needed for a quick trip to the hospital. See our blog post on “Planning for Emergencies”
5. Know Your Resources: Check in with your local ADRC (Aging and Disability Resource Center) or Senior Center in your county. Every county has one. See what resources may be available to assist you and your aging parents in their caregiving. Are there any adult day care centers in your area? Is hiring a private caregiver possible? We have a workbook on hiring a caregiver so if this might be of interest to you please leave a comment and reach out to us or you can send us a private email.
There is no shame in seeking help through organizations or medical practitioners. Medical professionals can shoulder some of the responsibilities, such as medication management, wound care, and therapy sessions, while local organizations can help with a range of other supportive services such as meal plans, transport, and home modifications. It is also advisable to reach out to family, friends or other caregivers for their help. We have a list of free resources on our website if any of these may be helpful for you.
There are several resources available that provide support and help to caregivers. Some of these resources include counseling services, support groups, financial support, and respite care services, which can provide caregivers temporary relief from their demanding responsibilities. Many communities offer resources and services to help caregivers. Look for organizations that provide support groups, respite care, and meal delivery services. These resources can relieve some of the burden of caregiving and provide much-needed support for you and your parents.
Hire a Patient or Nurse Advocate: An advocate can come along side you and help you put a plan in place to manage the care of your aging parents. An advocate can also work with your parents to make sure they have all the advance life planning documents and plans in place to help take the burden off of you, the adult child. The advocate can help your parents be prepared taking into consideration their wishes.
Technology can make it easier to stay connected with your aging parent even when you’re not physically there. Video calls can help bridge the gap and provide a way for you to check in on your parents more frequently. Additionally, using health monitoring technology, like a wearable device or remote monitoring system, can help you keep track of your parent’s health and well-being. Consider sharing a google doc with your family so everyone can have the latest information and can be updated by each family member in real time, and everyone will have accurate information.
Make sure you are added to the My Chart or patient portal website for you parents. Don’t just use their log in and password, ask your parents for permission to be added to their patient portal and add your email. This way you will get notification of appointments, test results and can communicate directly with the doctor.
6. Create a back-up plan If you have an important meeting or non-negotiable task that needs to be completed create a back up plan for that day. This might be a good day to have a back-up friend or neighbor or family member to be on stand-by if something is needed. This might be a good time to have a private caregiver to stay with your parent(s) that day to ensure you will not have any unnecessary interruptions at work. A patient advocate can also assist with hiring a private caregiver even just a day or two a week to help you feel confident that you can focus on your work and know your parents are well taken care of. Check on adult day care is available in your area and what the requirements are for attending.
7. Know Your Employee Benefits: Check with your HR representative and see what your Family Leave Benefits are and have them handy in case of needed unexpected time off to provide care.
FMLA: Per WebMD, In general, you must work for a company with at least 50 employees, a government agency, or elementary or secondary school to be covered, although state laws may cover you at a smaller employer, so do your research. You must have worked there for at least 12 months, and for at least 1,250 hours in the 12 months prior to taking time off. And you must work where your employer has at least 50 employees within 75 miles. (There are special requirements for airline flight crew employees.)
You might have to use your vacation first. Your employer may require that you use any accrued paid leave you have to cover some or all of any FMLA leave you take. Or you might choose to do this, since your employer isn’t required to pay you during FMLA leave. Check on the details of your company’s policies.
You can keep your health benefits. If your employer is covered, they must maintain your group health insurance coverage while you’re on FMLA time off. But you may have to arrange to pay your share of health insurance premiums.
Depending on why you’re taking leave, you may be able to take the 12 weeks in smaller chunks or work a reduced schedule. But if you’re working a shorter or intermittent schedule, your employer can temporarily place you in an alternative job with equal pay and benefits that better accommodate you.
Communicate with your employer: Letting your employer know that you are a caregiver may prompt them to offer some flexibility with your schedule. Although, it is also dependent on the nature of your work. Remember this may be sensitive, so consider communicating with your human resources representative or your immediate supervisor confidentially. Make sure they know your work is still your priority and you are taking measures to keep it that way.
One of the biggest obstacles to balancing work and caregiving for your aging parents is the inflexibility of many jobs. However, if your job allows for flexible hours or work-from-home options, it can make all the difference. Talk to your employer about your situation and see if there is any way to adjust your schedule to better fit your caregiving needs. Even small adjustments can make a big difference.
Conclusion:
Balancing work and caregiving for aging parents is a challenge and feels overwhelming but it’s one that can be met with the right mindset and strategies in place. By taking advantage of flexible work options, delegating tasks, setting boundaries, planning ahead for emergencies, using community resources, staying connected through technology, and making time for meaningful moments, you can find the balance you need to be present for your parent and still take care of yourself and your other responsibilities. With the right balance in place, you can ensure that your parents receive the care and support they need, while still pursuing your own goals and dreams.
By implementing these seven simple steps can help decrease your stress levels and increase your productivity. Remember to prioritize your personal care and communicate your boundaries with your support system. Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks and seek community resources to ensure you’re giving your aging parents the best care while keeping up with your job. By taking care of yourself while also taking care of your loved ones, you’ll be able to find balance and enjoy an improved quality of life. Don’t hesitate to use your resources. A nurse or patient advocate can come along side you and work with you to get all of these plans in place and make your life easier by being able to focus on your job.
Caregiving for aging parents can be a daunting task, especially when juggling caregiving responsibilities with work schedules. However, by implementing these seven steps in balancing work and caregiving, you can make the task less overwhelming and more manageable. It’s important to remember both essential commitments – work and caregiving- are crucial for your family’s wellbeing, so using these strategies will allow you to balance your caregiver responsibilities with work duties effectively. Remember, it’s also crucial to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Caregiving demands immense strength and perseverance, so when you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to take care of others.
Take care and we hope to see you back here soon!
Pam and Linda
Your Nurse Advocates
Resources
Your Nurse Advocate Consulting Website
Your Nurse Advocate Free Resources
https://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/caregiver-balance-work
https://www.lifehack.org/485404/5-tips-for-maintaining-work-life-balance-with-aging-parents
