By Pam Dunwald, RN, Board Certified Patient Advocate, Co-Founder, Your Nurse Advocate Consulting, LLC
Summer brings sunshine, family gatherings, and sometimes, new challenges for caregivers and families with aging loved ones. How can Estate Auctions and Traveling with an Aging Loved Ones help you as a caregiver? This week’s Tuesday Tips tackles two topics that come up more often than you’d think:
- What to do with a lifetime of belongings after a loved one passes away—should you consider an estate auction?
- How can you safely include an aging parent or grandparent with health challenges on a family vacation?
Let’s dive in!
1. Estate Auctions: A Fair, Practical Option for Families
If you’ve ever lost a parent or grandparent, you know the emotional and logistical mountain that is sorting through their belongings. Decades of memories, keepsakes, and—let’s be honest—stuff, can quickly become overwhelming. What’s the best way to honor their legacy, distribute items fairly, and avoid family conflict?
Our Family’s Experience:
Recently, my husband’s family held an estate auction for my in-laws’ property. We had two houses full of belongings and more than 20 grandkids spread across the country that were interested in grandma’s things.
Preparing for the auction was a massive task—days of sorting, boxing, and organizing. By the end of the week, we were exhausted, but we also felt relief and even a little pride at how we handled it together. Emotions were high due to the work and task at hand. Emotions played a role with the ties to the items left for us to decide how and where they will be distributed.
Why Consider an Estate Auction?
- Fairness: Everyone gets a chance to bid on items that matter most to them. There are no hard feelings—if you want something, you bid for it. If no one else bids, you know it was meant for you. Some people allowed us to bid for them while talking to us over the phone.
- Efficiency: Auctions move everything out in a single day, which is crucial if you’re selling the property or need to clear the house quickly.
- Financial Benefit: The proceeds go back into the estate, which can help with final expenses or be distributed according to the will.
- Reduced Conflict: Auctions can prevent those awkward “who gets what” conversations—everyone has the same opportunity.
Other Options:
- Junk Removal: Quick, but you pay out of pocket and lose the chance to distribute keepsakes.
- Donation: Organizations like Habitat for Humanity will sometimes pick up furniture and household items for free, depending on what you have.
- Family Sorting Day: Invite family to select items before the auction or donation, but be prepared for emotional moments and possible disagreements.
Pro Tips for Estate Auctions:
- Follow the Auctioneer: Be available to explain what certain items are (especially if you have unique family treasures).
- Label Items: Help the auctioneer and bidders understand what’s being sold.
- Be Realistic: It’s hard work, but the emotional and practical payoff can be worth it.
If you’re facing this situation and need guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m happy to share more details about how estate auctions work and help you decide if it’s right for your family.
2. Taking an Aging Loved One on Vacation: Yes, It’s Possible!
Family vacations are precious, but what happens when a loved one has health challenges? Should you bring them along? Is it safe? What are your options if they can’t be left home alone?
Our Family’s Dilemma:
This summer, my siblings and I debated whether our mom, who has chronic health issues and uses oxygen which is brand new, should join us on our annual vacation. Some of us strongly felt she should come; others worried about the logistics and whether we’d still get to enjoy time with our own kids and grandkids.
Key Considerations:
- Safety First: Is travel truly safe for your loved one? Consult with their healthcare provider before making plans.
- Care Needs: Will your loved one need help with medications, mobility, or personal care during the trip?
- Family Balance: It’s okay to acknowledge that everyone deserves a vacation—including caregivers!
Our Solution:
We brainstormed as a family (thank you, Zoom!) and decided to bring in a professional caregiver for part of each day. This allowed everyone to relax, knowing Mom was cared for, and gave her dignity and independence. Yes, it was an added expense—about $1,900 for the 6 day week—but comparable to what respite care in an assisted living facility would have cost.
Tips for Success:
- Involve Your Loved One: Give them as much control as possible. We started with a two-day caregiver “trial,” which helped Mom feel empowered and eased her worries.
- Find the Right Caregiver: Call multiple agencies and look for one that’s willing to work with your family’s unique needs. Compassion and flexibility matter!
- Prepare for Equipment Needs: If your loved one uses oxygen or other medical equipment, plan ahead. We invested in a portable oxygen concentrator, which made travel much easier and increased Mom’s independence.
- Accessibility: Double-check your accommodations for accessibility—doorway widths, bathroom proximity, and first-floor bedrooms can make a big difference.
This was our biggest challenge on vacation. Her walker did not fit through her bedroom door. Each night between 3-4 am she would call us to help her get to the bathroom. We had to fold up her walker and then open it again once out of the bedroom. Otherwise she could have taken the very short walk to the bathroom herself. We brought her raised toilet seat to increase her independence in managing her bathroom needs.
- Divide and Conquer: Assign family members to handle different aspects of travel prep (packing, medication management, equipment, etc.).
The Outcome:
Our mom had a wonderful time, and so did we. She enjoyed the caregiver’s company, and by the end of the week, she was already talking about next year’s trip and having the same caregiver if possible! Next year we will make sure her walker will fit through her bedroom door!
Final Thoughts & Summer Safety Reminder
Whether you’re navigating an estate auction or planning a vacation with an aging loved one, remember: you don’t have to do it alone. At Your Nurse Advocate Consulting, we help families create plans, solve challenges, and make memories—not just manage crises.
One last summer tip: As temperatures rise, encourage your aging loved ones to drink plenty of fluids. As we age, our thirst mechanism weakens, making dehydration a real risk—even if they say they aren’t thirsty. We have a free download PDF for you. Summer Senior Safety Checklist. Consider grabbing it if you think you may need this now or in the future!
Need help with estate planning, travel logistics, or any elder care challenge?
Drop a comment below, send a private message, or contact us. We’re here to help you juggle less and enjoy more.
Have a safe, happy summer!
—Pam
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