1. Introduction

Sharing and managing the caregiving responsibilities with family can be daunting enough but when there is a hospitalization or Illness to deal with together it can get more difficult.

Effective communication will be key. Emotions are at an all time high. Out-of-town families are worried about staying up to date on what is going on. They also worry if they need to pack up and get home.

2. Communication and Coordination

• Challenges of coordinating care among siblings in different locations.

Families may be in different time zones which may make communicating a bit more difficult. Take the time to determine when the best times are for updates. Schedule updates with family based on their time zone with the understanding that any emergent information will be shared as it is made known.

• Have one family member be the “point of contact” with the hospital. This person should be responsible for updating other family members. 

From working as a nurse in the hospital this is really important so the doctor has one point of contact to communicate with vs. several people that may not always be able to reach the doctor. This way for any updates the doctor just has one phone call to make and this person can make sure the rest of the family is aware of what is happening with their aging loved one.

This keeps things efficient and allows the doctor to focus on caring for their patients.

• Technological Tools and Support Groups

Utilize technology by having conference calls adding in multiple family members to the call.  

Zoom or FaceTime calls can also help. A family text chain can be invaluable and family members can access the information when it is convenient for them.

A private family Facebook page can also be used to update everyone and what is going on with your aging loved one.

Also utilize the hospital social worker or discharge planner for any concerns for family members needing extra support during these emotional times. They are also great resources to help start the planning process for your aging loved one to come home or transition to another level of care such as a nursing home.

3. Balancing Commitments

• Struggle of Balancing Personal and Professional Commitment 

The challenge of juggling work, personal life, and caregiving responsibilities are all factors that will lead to increased emotions and family members being on edge. 

Sometimes answers are not readily available concerning the status of your hospitalized loved one. It can often be a wait and see game if the treatment is working or the doctor’s have to consider changing tactics.

Again, scheduled check-in calls and update calls can be helpful in balancing work and this allows family members to take calls when it is best for them while at work. 

If the illness or hospitalization may lead to a need for a medical family leave, contact your HR staff right away if you need to start this paperwork. Ask what the terms are for the leave. Federal law grants 3 months unpaid leave to keep your job secure. Inquire about any special accommodations your employer may have above and beyond the minimum requirements.

Medical leave does not need to be taken all at once and the days can be broken up.

4. Decision-Making and Conflict Resolution

• Common Conflicts in Decision-Making

• Explore typical disagreements among siblings regarding the best care for their parent. There is an easier way to solve conflicts regarding decision making. Encourage your parents to complete an advance directive for healthcare to make their healthcare decisions known in the event they cannot make their own decisions.

• Secondly it is important to meet with an estate planning attorney to discuss decision making regarding their home and other assets. Appointing an executor to their estate and a financial power of attorney to manage their finances when they are no longer able.
• These strategies will make their decisions known. No decisions will need to be made causing conflicts if the family just agrees to follow the wishes of their parents.

• Strategies for Open Communication and Compromise
• Offer practical strategies for maintaining open communication and reaching compromises. Use ways to keep all family members in the loop of what is going on with your aging parents. This will also do wonders to decrease the conflicts and potential hard feelings if everyone has the most current information.
• Remember to remind everyone that we are here to care for mom and dad the way they want to be cared for.  Each family member needs to try and keep their feelings and how they might make decisions “if it were me” to themselves to keep a united front for your parents.  Your parents hate when their kids fight. 

Seeking Professional Advice

• Seek out the assistance of professionals in case of unresolved conflicts. There is family counseling, mediation, estate attorney assistance, a patient advocate, or your clinic social worker that can help resolve conflict surrounding your parents care.

5. Financial and Healthcare Navigations

• Overview of Financial Responsibilities and Healthcare Navigation
• Discuss the complexities of managing healthcare expenses and navigating the healthcare system. How are their care being paid for? Is the family having to experience draining on their own finances? What can be done to alleviate or share expenses among the family?

• Resources and Support Systems
• List legal and financial advisors specializing in elder care.
• Mention caregiver support groups and professional home care services.
• Introduce healthcare management tools to aid in financial tracking and medical record keeping.
• Contact your County Government Agency on Aging. Here in Wisconsin  it is called the ADRC or Aging and Disability Resource Center. Every county has one but they may have different names. If you are unsure of the agency in your county contact your county health department and they will get you the information on the center of aging. This is a great resource for services in your county, they can determine if your parents qualify for any reduced cost or free services.
• The hospital social worker is also a great asset to help identify resources and help set up any services needed at home following a hospital or nursing home stay.

6. Managing Transitions in Care

• Challenges of Managing Care Transitions
• Discuss the difficulties of transitioning care from hospital to home or between siblings.Transitions in care occur when your aging loved one or anyone goes from one level of care to another. This could be going to the hospital and then home again. It could mean going to the hospital then going to a nursing home before going back home.

Each transition can lead to a mistake in care or medications if there is a breach in  communication between levels of care. Here is a video that take a deeper dive into transitions in care.

• Respite Care Options
• Introduce respite care services for temporary relief and rest for primary caregivers. Contact the social worker, the agency on aging, or a patient advocate to help you determine what respite options are available in your area. This is temporary care you pay for if you need a caregiving break or maybe have to leave town for vacation or other family event or even a work trip.

• Importance of Self-Care for Siblings
• Self-care is critical to maintain your sanity as to keep up with your own family obligations. Here is a video to help share some techniques and strategies to avoid caregiver burnout.

7. Free Resources from Your Nurse Advocate Consulting

• Benefits of Consulting with a Nurse Advocate

Our services are tailored specifically to transform your pain points into points of relief. We bring heartfelt understanding and practical support to your door, carrying some of the load so you can find a semblance of balance once more. We strive to:

• Illuminate the path ahead, helping dispel the fog of cluelessness and stress, replacing it with informed, clear steps forward.
• Break the chains of isolation, showing you’re not alone and providing you with the network of support and understanding you’ve been yearning for.
• Reassure your heart, affirming that the care you’re giving is filled with love and the best you have to offer.
• Reshape the narrative, turning the overwhelming, guilt-laden story into one of strength, courage, and unabridged love.
• Access our Free Resources HERE.

 Conclusion

A hospital stay can be very challenging for a family. Managing emotions, urgent decisions to be made and out of town family feeling isolated and helpless.

You can lean on a nurse patient advocate to help you navigate this journey. We are here for you. We can help ease your overwhelm, and share some of the responsibilities with you. 

Our client said it best, “I feel like I am on a little vacation not having to deal with all the responsibilities of caring for my parents on my own.”             -SLC Seattle, WA

Thanks for taking a few minutes of your time to spend it here with us. We will see you back here next time for another Senior Care topic.

If you are so inclined we would value your opinion of the topics you feel are the most important to you in managing the care of your aging parents.  Please feel free to complete our 2-minute set of questions to help us best serve you now and in the future.

Take care and see you soon,

Pam and Linda

Your Nurse Advocates

“Compassionate Care for Aging Parents with Peace of Mind for the Adult Children.”

Resources

What is Long Term Care-National Institute on Aging 

Your Nurse Advocate Consulting

The Complete Siblings Guide to Caring for an Aging Parent Course

Taking an Alzheimer’s Loved One to the Hospital-National Institute on Aging